Take It Slow: A Modern Approach to Intimacy


by Megan Stubbs

“[In our culture,] we want everything now—instant, faster, quicker—but this gratification system can be very detrimental when carried over into your personal life.”

If becoming more present, deepening connections and increasing overall satisfaction sparks your interest, consider taking it slow and introducing a more modern approach to intimacy.

Founded on one woman’s journey for “something” more, Nicole Daedone has been a champion for the movement that is devoted to the art and craft of female pleasure, which includes the practice of orgasmic meditation (OM).

In her book Slow Sex, Daedone explains how after cultivating the “perfect-looking life,” she still felt as if she were missing something.

“… I didn’t know where to find more vitality, more engagement, more of everything I wanted,” she wrote.

When she signed up for a sexuality course, she realized she had been missing one of the necessities to personal revitalization: intimacy and a deeper connection with herself and her partner. (If I haven’t lost you yet, let’s delve deeper.)

Right now there are so many “slow” movements; slow food, slow parenting, slow bathing. Slowing down in our culture is something that we do not often do. We want everything now—instant, faster, quicker—but this gratification system can be very detrimental when carried over into your personal life. Taking it slow is about savoring every moment with your partner. Very often, sex is looked at as an activity that leads to an end or a goal. As a result, intimacy is often viewed though a male lens; this becomes problematic, as the average male climaxes within 2 minutes and the average woman around 15 minutes. You don’t need to be great at math to see the disparity.

Practicing OM shifts the mindset and removes the goal-seeking mentality surrounding intimacy. That isn’t to say that people don’t experience pleasure during the practice, rather that the entire session allows the opening up of sensations, feelings and emotions that we often suppress in our fast-paced analytical lives. Following the OneTaste method that Daedone created, practitioners are introduced to mindful sexuality. This state of being can release a foreign emotional response which you may not feel is right or acceptable. However, it is acceptable to feel foreign sensations; it is all part of the process.

According to OneTaste, practitioners of OM have reported the following benefits:

  • Increased overall vitality.
  • Increased energy.
  • Increased libido.
  • Reduced stress and irritability.
  • Increased awareness of feelings.
  • Lengthened pleasure during intimacy.
  • Increased confidence with your body.
  • Better concentration and attention.
  • Reduced chronic dissatisfaction.
  • Increased connection with your partner.

OM certainly makes no promises to solve relationship or intimacy problems, as it is not an instant cure-all. Much like a conscious practice like yoga, it is a technique that allows us to pay attention to sensation in our body and increase communication with our partner. Stripping away conventional thoughts of what intimacy should and shouldn’t be is essential and allows us to enjoy all facets of our sexuality at a heightened level. For the men who may happen upon this article, you are not just a facilitator for this practice! Many men enter into an orgasmic state while practicing OM and benefit from the level of intimacy and communication that is created.

Get ambitious in your personal life this year and try something new to rejuvenate yourself and your romantic life. Consider introducing OM this New Year. It may seem a little out there, but only you will know if you are ready for this journey. Take it slow and listen to what your body is telling you. Your response to this process is unique to you, and your reaction might be different than someone else’s. For information about the actual practice of OM, please consult the website listed below or Daedone’s book previously mentioned. If this new practice is bringing joy, fulfillment and a more passionate, nurturing connection with your partner, consider telling a friend! You just might convince your friend who decided to lay off sweets for the year to change her resolution.

For more information about Orgasmic Meditation and OneTaste, visit www.onetaste.us.


Dr. Megan Stubbs is a Sexologist, the job you never saw on career day. For insightful tips or a good laugh, find her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and SexologistMegan.com




Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.